How to Live Brain Injured
Rosa is 7 years old and has brain damage. Rosa and her hope for some cure for the damage are the path of her life.
It is eternal this waiting to see my assassinated person in this search to express this intelligence that I have. It is also to be waiting that some time I will be able to speak in order to say what I want freely and to be participating in all the conversations that they have around me.
It is also to be waiting that I might be able to be alone without them taking care of me and leave the house to the place where I want with the clothes I want to put on.
I can think that one day it is going to happen but for this an eternity of time is left. I think that Elke is doing an arduous job in the hope that one day this dream will come true. For me it is not easy to understand where she gets this strength that she is everyday working to do the program. One reason can be that her character is very rigorous and strong. This may attract all the people that bring a little joy to the house with their presence and help with the patternings and other things.
The relationship that I have with Elke is something esoteric. She can guess my thoughts and that helps that she can understand me better every time. She gives everything because she worries about my future and that which with make Rosa healthy.
People in my situation need people like Elke. Without this we are lost because it is a common practice in many cases this custom of putting children with brain damage in institutions where someone attends them that doesn't love them so much as their mom. I was in a place like that. The people are always a little attentive to the children and the rest of the time they spend doing things of little importance like chatting the entire day.
But it was important to know this environment to know that I am an eternity better now. It is very happy to be with my family at home because they truly love me. Because they don't get happy to do the program instead of being anguished about the future of their child with brain damage.
For me it is very good luck to have this family that helps me and also it is something special that they work with Vientos Culturales. In this way I can see something new everyday. It is something sad that that not all children can do this program or at least something of it. What can be done when the child has brain damage and nothing advances? It is very anguishing for this child and also for his or her parents.
I felt very sad before doing the program. I couldn't walk and also couldn't transmit what I was feeling. I couldn't read and neither could I write. I was also thinking that it was better to die than to be living like apparatus-person without hope of illuminating herself with the faith of getting healthy some day.
It is as if you were ember without fire like water without a sea like a soul without a body. All the people believe that you don't understand anything and they treat you like an absolute dummy. For me this was the saddest part. Because I understood everything since I was little. Since when I had less than a year I can remember everything. It is interesting being a little girl with brain damage. It is fascinating this contradiction between a false belief that we don't understand anything and our great intellectual capacity. It is false to think that we are not intelligent. It is joyful to be with my family that realizes this fact.
Sometimes I fight with my sister but always her something of her tremendous love comes out towards me. She always treats me like a normal girl. This is the best present on her part. She is the best sister in the world. I only have one sister. I would like to have more. Maybe one day my parents will decide to have another baby. It is a desire that I have had for a long time because in that way I would be able to be the big sister like Maria is for me.
Something that is important with having brain damage is clinging to the family. They are always the people that love you most and they want you to be cured or at least that you get better as much as you can. This desire is a great help because they intensely assume the will to feel it everyday. What more can I write. Such is the life with brain damage.